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My life is only getting bigger and better every singly day- Im so happy and so grateful. Its all those times you watch a movie and dream that your life is remotely similar, praying for the next week that it will be. Praying like more drama may be a good thing, and that people want you and love you and enjoy you, being you, as you are. I have- to an extent- BEGAN to acquired all these wonderful things, and yet theres dissapointment and new wants- new dreams. Maybe there will always be that degree of unsatisfaction no matter how much you have, and only when you lose what you have, you realise that was enough. KNOWING all this, and believing it, I still want him. Throwing aside every other opportunity given, to maybe find happiness, I stubbornly remain on this path that is narrow and dark- I can see the end of it! Yet all the small delusional thoughts I possess, believe I could build a longer path, and find happiness the way Ive dreamed about it. All the other opportunites have been so quick and dissapointing to what my mind contemplated and my heart yearned for.
I miss him, and I dont even have him.
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