2010

I always thought of myself as one to take risk; a risk taker as such.
However today at work I was making yet another soya strawberry milkshake, and I thought to myself, 'go on, get another flavour....you always have strawberry, you have no idea what the others taste like.....go crazy, take a risk, be a risk taker.'
I thought MY GOSH If my idea of risk taking is changing my milkshake flavour, then maybe im not what I think I am. All the ideas of me in my head, a philosopher, an activist, a painter. Well am I any of them? Am I a philosopher! Am I an activist! Am I an artist!?
Maybe I say cause I want to be all this... this is who I want Kasia to be. But then what am I now- not me? Am I witholding the person I want to be for a reason? Too lazy, too immature?

I want to untie myself from the chains I dont see but feel, I need to stop cementing myself to the ground when I know I can jump. This year will be great, full of changes and new life. I cant go into it fallen apart, this year needs all my courage, faith and love to come out of it happier then when I went in.

I hope I jump.

x x x x